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Woody and friends are incarcerated behind bars in the auditorium before the children arrive
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Sergeant: |
Well look who’s here.
It’s Woody Weed and his weedy friends!
We’re very lucky to have captured Woody last year and put him behind bars where he belongs.
Do you know what happens if we let weeds escape and roam free throughout the land?
Interact with children on this. Eg
Come on!! Anybody got any ideas as to what could happen if Woody were to escape?? |
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Constable 1: |
Would he end up in a salad? |
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Sergeant: |
No!! |
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Constable 2: |
Would he go to school?? |
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Sergeant: |
Of course he wouldn’t go to school!!
Why would a weed go to school? |
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Constable 2: |
For weeding and witing!! |
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Sergeant: |
No, silly!!
If Woody Weed were to escape, he would umm, errr. Well he would
ummm .... |
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Constable 1: |
You don’t know do you? |
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Sergeant: |
Of course I know! |
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Constable 2: |
Well, tell us! |
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Sergeant: |
No! I’ve got a better idea. Woody should tell us!
(to Woody) All right Mr Weed. If you were to escape, what would you do? |
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Woody: |
If I were to escape, I’d do what any fun-loving free range weed would do! |
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Constable 1: |
What’s that?? |
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Woody: |
(Sings)
I would spread my seeds
Making baby weeds
All over Australia.
We would choke the trees
And do as we please
All over Australia.
We would spend our days
Blocking water ways
All over Australia
We will spread and grow
Everywhere we go
All over Australia
Woody gets kids to sing along especially the "All over Australia" line ~ repeat above. |
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Sergeant: |
You’d choke the trees??
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Woody: |
Yep! And all the native plants and things that humans want to grow. |
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Constable 2: |
And you’d block our water ways? |
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Woody: |
You betcha! |
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Constable 1: |
Oh no!! That could cause a flood! |
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Woody: |
Yep!! Followed by a flood of tears. |
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Sergeant: |
You’re nothing but a creepy old weed who’s now safely behind bars, Woody. You and your mates! Who are they anyway. |
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Woody: |
We’re all Weeds of National significance! |
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Constable 2: |
(singing) What a load of rubbish! |
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Woody: |
We are too!! In fact there are twenty of us … if you use your imagination. |
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Constable 2: |
What are your names then? |
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Woody: |
I’ll do a roll call!
(reads and one of the other weeds says "present" or "here" for each name called.)
Athel Pine! |
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Constable 1: |
Athel!!! Looks more like an Ethel to me! (falls about laughing) |
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Woody: |
Alligator Weed! |
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Constable 2: |
Make it snappy Alligator Weed!(also laughs with Constable 1) |
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Woody: |
Bitou Bush, Boneseed, Blackberry, Chilean Needle Grass, Pond Apple, Serrated Tussock, Salvinia, Rubber Vine, Mimosa, Parkinsonia, Gorse, Bridal Creeper …. |
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Constable 1: |
Hang on! My mate’s a bridal creeper! |
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Sergeant: |
This is not rude is it Constable? |
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Constable 1: |
No! He’s a jockey at (insert name of well known race-course)!! (Constables laugh again at their joke) |
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Woody: |
Parthenium, Hymenachne, Cabomba … |
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Constable 1 & 2: |
(singing to tune of La Bamba … maybe with maracas)
Ca – ca – ca – ca - ca – ca –cabomba!
(and again fall about with laughter) |
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Woody: |
(getting a bit cheesed off)
…. Lantana, Mesquite (pronounced Meskeet) and Willow! |
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Sergeant and Constables: |
Willow??
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Woody: |
Believe me!! He’s no pussy, Willow! |
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Sergeant: |
Well! It’s just as well you are all safely behind bars then Woody. We wouldn’t want all our trees choked and our waterways blocked would we everybody?
More interaction with children |
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Woody: |
Wouldn’t it be grand
Lots of weeds on farming land
All over Australia. |
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Constable 1: |
No!!
(sings)
It would be a big disaster
Sowing parthenium seeds in pasture
All over Australia. |
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Constable 2: |
(sings)
Blackberry, Lantana, Willow, Gorse
Nothing could be any worse, (pronounced to rhyme)
All over Australia. |
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Sergeant: |
Worse?
Don’t you mean worse? (pronounced correctly) |
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Constable 2: |
Yes, but then the song would be
"Blackberry, Lantana, Willow, Gerse" |
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Sergeant: |
Well, it doesn’t matter.
It will never happen because Woody is safely behind bars and he can never, never escape again!
Woody stretches bars behind the Sergeant’s back. |
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Sergeant: |
Not that they could possibly escape, but if they should try, I want you all to warn me by yelling "Weed prevention is the intention!" |
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Practice and play with this a couple of times. |
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Sergeant: |
Those bars are very, very strong and nobody could ever move them! |
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Woody puts one leg out |
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Sergeant: |
Nobody could put as much as their little finger outside those bars! |
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Play around with this. The Constables lead the kids in shouting "Weed prevention is the intention!" when Woody sticks his leg outside etc. |
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When the Sergeant is going to look, flag it with dialogue such as "All right, I’ll look for myself" and Woody can pull his leg in as Sergeant turns around.
Keep this going for a couple of times or until it is wearing thin on the kids, then move on.
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Sergeant: |
No, no, there’s absolutely no possible way Woody will ever escape and drop his seeds around Australia ever again! |
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Constable 2: |
If he did escape ... |
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Sergeant: |
He won’t escape ... |
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Constable 2: |
But if he did escape, how many seeds would he spread? |
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Sergeant: |
Hundreds and thousands! |
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Constable 1: |
Oh goody!! I love hundreds and thousands! |
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Sergeant: |
Hundreds and thousands of seeds, silly!
How many seeds do you have with you today, Woody? |
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Woody: |
One hundred .. but I’d only scatter say, thirty in here! |
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Sergeant: |
You won’t get a chance to scatter any, Woody Weed!
You’ll never escape from there! |
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Woody steps through the bars, runs behind the policemen and out into the crowd. All the other weeds do likewise. They ultimately make their way outside and disappear leaving the show bags just out side the door with Christian?? looking after them!
Constables lead kids in a chorus of "He’s escaping" and "Weed prevention is the intention" with Sergeant playing the "No way! What a lot of rubbish!!" line until Wood and weeds are well away.
Then Sergeant realises Woody has escaped but addresses the kids before letting them give chase. |
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Sergeant: |
Oh!! This is terrible! The weeds have really escaped!!
We have to be on the look out for any thing they may have dropped …especially seeds!! |
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Constable 1: |
I think Woody’s seedpods look like this!! (display the showbag) |
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Sergeant: |
Right! Now, how many seeds did he say he had today?
Kids answer with Constables arguing over the number until Sergeant reiterates what ever it was. |
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Sergeant: |
OK. Well, our priority is to gather up as many seeds as we can.
Who’s prepared to help?
More banter with kids.
Gather up all the seed pods you can find.
But let’s go and find the Weed’s seeds. Remember weed prevention is the intention! |
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Sergeant and constables lead kids outside where they discover the seed pods (showbags) filled with lots of great stuff and they all go home!!
THE END |
